Divorce is not just a legal process; it’s an emotional journey that changes your life in ways you may not have imagined. If you’re navigating this path, let me start by saying this—you’re not alone. In India, divorce often comes with layers of societal judgment, family expectations, and personal guilt. But here’s the truth: healing is possible, and it happens one step at a time.
Let’s walk through the five stages of emotional recovery after divorce, explore what you might be feeling, and discuss ways to navigate each phase.
1. Shock and Denial: “This can’t be happening to me.”
When divorce hits, it often feels surreal. You might find yourself thinking, “Is this really my life?” This stage is filled with disbelief and an overwhelming sense of loss. It’s especially hard in a society like ours, where marriage is seen as the cornerstone of personal identity.
What You Can Do:
• Acknowledge your feelings: It’s okay to feel confused, hurt, or even numb. Let yourself process these emotions without judgment.
• Take small steps: Focus on daily routines—getting out of bed, making tea, or going for a walk. These small actions ground you in reality.
• Talk to someone you trust: A close friend or a therapist can help you begin to make sense of what’s happening.
Example: Riya, a 35-year-old teacher from Delhi, found herself in a daze after her divorce. Her mornings felt empty, and she often replayed the events in her mind. She started journaling each morning, writing just a few sentences about how she felt. Over time, this simple habit helped her process her emotions and regain clarity.
2. Anger and Resentment: “Why did this happen to me?”
As the shock fades, anger often surfaces—anger at your ex, at yourself, or even at the world for “letting this happen.” In India, where family plays a significant role in marriage, you may also feel resentment towards relatives or friends who took sides.
What You Can Do:
• Channel your anger: Write unsent letters to express your feelings or try physical outlets like yoga or dancing.
• Avoid impulsive actions: Don’t vent on social media or make decisions in anger.
• Seek support: Therapy or support groups can offer a safe space to process your resentment constructively.
Example: After her divorce, Meera, a 42-year-old homemaker from Bengaluru, felt furious when her relatives blamed her for the separation. Instead of confronting them, she joined a local meditation class and found solace in deep breathing exercises, which helped her manage her anger more calmly.
3. Bargaining: “What if I had done things differently?”
The “what ifs” can be relentless during this stage. You might think, “What if I had been more understanding?” or “What if I had tried harder to make it work?” Bargaining often comes from a place of guilt and the hope that things could magically go back to the way they were.
What You Can Do:
• Focus on reality: Remind yourself why the marriage ended. Write down the reasons so you can revisit them when doubt creeps in.
• Let go of guilt: Remember, it takes two people to sustain a marriage, and its failure isn’t solely your responsibility.
• Redirect your energy: Instead of dwelling on “what if,” ask yourself, “What now?”
Example: During this stage, Arjun, a 39-year-old IT professional from Pune, spent hours replaying his arguments with his ex-wife, wondering where he went wrong. His therapist suggested listing out all the reasons he chose to leave. This helped him shift his focus from regret to clarity.
4. Depression: “Will I ever feel happy again?”
Depression often follows when the weight of the situation truly sinks in. You may feel hopeless, lonely, or unmotivated. In Indian society, where divorce often comes with stigma, these feelings can intensify as you grapple with societal expectations.
What You Can Do:
• Practice mindfulness: Activities like meditation or simply sitting in nature can help you stay present and ease negative thoughts.
• Seek connection: Surround yourself with supportive friends or join a group of like-minded individuals.
• Set small goals: Achieving even minor milestones—like cooking a meal or starting a new hobby—can boost your mood.
Example: Post-divorce, Kabir, a 45-year-old father from Jaipur, felt isolated and struggled to connect with his children. He started scheduling weekly movie nights with them, which not only improved their bond but also gave him something to look forward to.
5. Acceptance: “I am ready for a new chapter.”
Acceptance doesn’t mean forgetting what happened or dismissing your pain. It means recognising that while the past is part of your story, it doesn’t define your future. This stage is about embracing a new identity and rebuilding your life with purpose.
What You Can Do:
• Redefine yourself: Explore your passions, whether it’s painting, travel, or volunteering.
• Set future goals: Focus on what you want your next chapter to look like.
• Celebrate progress: Recognise how far you’ve come, even if you still have more to go.
Example: Anita, a 50-year-old entrepreneur from Mumbai, threw herself into building her small baking business after her divorce. It started as a distraction but grew into her passion, helping her rediscover joy and independence.
A Journey Worth Taking
Healing from divorce is not linear—it’s messy, unpredictable, and deeply personal. But each stage, no matter how painful, is a step toward rediscovery and growth.
If you’re reading this and feel stuck in any stage, know that it’s okay. Take your time, seek help when needed, and trust that brighter days are ahead.
💬 What stage resonates with you the most? Or what helped you move forward during a tough time?
Join Forum And Share your thoughts there—I’d love to hear your story.
About Mona Singh
Hello, my name is Mona Singh, and I am a Certified Divorce Empowerment Coach & POSH Trainer, supporting professionals worldwide through my online and in-person coaching practice.
I help individuals navigate the emotional, financial, and practical challenges of divorce with clarity, confidence, and resilience. Having personally experienced the complexities of divorce, I deeply understand the emotional rollercoaster it brings and the uncertainty that follows.
I believe divorce is not just an ending—it can be the beginning of self-discovery, empowerment, and growth. Through my coaching, I provide strategic guidance to help professionals make informed decisions, rebuild their confidence, and design a future they truly deserve.
As a writer and speaker, I share insights on emotional healing, relationship dynamics, and self-reinvention. Whether it’s coping with post-divorce grief, navigating co-parenting, or overcoming limiting beliefs, my goal is to support individuals through this life transition with strength and self-assurance.
Let’s turn this chapter into a powerful new beginning!